


While I'm Away

by Sassaphrass



Series: Taking on the World Together [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Being Apart, Break Up, Fluff, Growing Up, Light Angst, M/M, Military, Sam will always love Jon, True Love (?), University, Writing E-mails, even if he doesn't realize it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 12:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2109912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassaphrass/pseuds/Sassaphrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their lives may take them different directions but Sam and Jon are always going to find their way back to each other. </p><p>As Sam navigates the terrifying world of university and adulthood, Jon writes him e-mails about life in the army.<br/>They both claim to be completely over each other. They're both completely wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	While I'm Away

It's hard being on his own again. Sam's gotten used to the unshakeable support of their little gang at Black Castle. Pyp, Green, Jon and, sometimes, even Satin. They were all rejects and freaks, and they all knew they were going nowhere so it had been safe. No one messed with them because if Jon or Grenn didn't maim them for life than Pyp would get everyone to laugh at them or Satin would do something mysterious that had the perpetrator crossing to the other side of the yard everytime he saw them coming.

 

Only, even freaks like them couldn't stay at Black Castle forever, they'd graduated in the fall and all gone their seperate ways.

 

Pyp and Grenn had gone to Manchester and were working as a fry cook/dishwasher and a lorry driver respectively. Satin still had another year of school, and Jon had joined the army, with hopes of making officer's training or being selected for the Rangers.

 

Sam had gone to Uni. Health Sciences, with a view on getting in to med school at the end. He'd been certain he wasn't going to be able to afford it but on the last day at Black Castle Jon had handed him an envelope with a check in it and a note that simply read: “For School, Love Jon, XX”

 

Trust Jon to be shy about kisses even when they were just little X's on a note he was giving to someone he's been dating for 2 years.

 

Wait, dated. Someone he'd dat _ed_ for 2 years.

 

Because, Jon had decided that they should break up once the summer ended and Jon went off to basic while Sam went off to school.

 

Which was _rubbish_. They'd hardly had the chance to act like a real couple. First it was sneaking kisses behind corners and maybe the odd grope behind the sheds at school, because Sam may be mad for Jon but he's a coward too, and being out in a military school was not something he was ready to face.

 

So they'd had maybe a month when they were able to actual hold hands in public and Jon was always putting his arms around Sam's shoulders. And they'd had a chance to actually try and have proper sex and not just fumbled handjobs. They'd been working things out. It had been brilliant.

 

But then Jon had decided that since they were going to be apart for who knew how long that they should see other people, but stay friends.

So, Jon had gone off to basic, and Sam had spent a week snivelling like a girl in the crap apartment Pyp and Grenn shared before he'd gone off to school.

 

Now Sam was set up in a dorm at uni and he'd never felt so out of place. It's not just that most everyone is thin, rich and sheltered, it's that a couple years ago Sam, while never thin, had been as sickeningly rich and sheltered. As things stand now Sam knows how to assemble and dissassemble a rifle, and (courtesy of Jon) how to best break a chair in order to make it an efficient weapon. These used to be his people, but they're not anymore.

 

Not to mention that Sam seems to spend more time on course work then the rest of them combined. Which isn't really fair. There are others that are working hard too, but Sam is just....

 

It's just really hard, to suddenly find yourself alone in the crowd, to feel like people are snickering behind their hands at you because you're fat, and slow and have been wearing a uniform for the last 2 years so your ordinary clothes seem awkward and uncomfortable.

 

Jon writes. Sam is relieved he never tries to call or skype (he doesn't think he could face that) but grateful to see that Jon is keeping his promise to stay friends. They aren''t long e-mails, (Jon's never been particularly good with words) but they're comforting, and so very _Jon._ It's also reassuring to hear that Jon's not finding the new world easy either.

 

Personally, Sam is finding is difficult to sleep without the sound of someone else's breathing to lull him to sleep.

 

_Sam,_

 

_Sergeant Qhorin thinks I'm a high functioning half-wit. The obstacle course here is easier than the one at Black Castle, that combined with the fact that the temperature here is several degrees warmer, means that I'm first to finish every day. I never thought I'd be thankful that Mr. Thorne was such a raging arsehat but he's prepared me for the land of arsehats that is the military._

  _Jon._

 

 

Sam starts volunteering in an outreach centre in the free time he has between classes, studying and his part time job. It's good, it distracts him from how it's 2 and a half months in and he still hasn't made any friends.

 

Jon sends him a copy of his official army photo when he completes basic. His hair's been cut short and Sam mourns the inky curls. Jon looks younger and tougher without his long hair.

 

 

_Sam,_

 

_I thought about coming to see you during my leave, but thought I might mess up your life at uni. I'm staying with Grenn and Pyp for a few days and might go up and visit my siblings. I'm not sure I want to see them though. I've been writing to Arya and Robb keeps trying to ring me but I don't really want to talk to him. I'm still angry at them._

  _Jon_

 

Sam starts making friends with some of the girls on his floor. He thinks they might be taking pity on him, but he doesn't mind. They're serious and studious and don't party very much. Sam avoids parties, he doesn't want to have to explain that he hasn't drunk beer because his teenage years were spent locked up in a military school for delinquents. So, they sit around, watch movies, do their homework and talk about movies and tv shows.

 

They ask about who Jon is when they see his picture. Sam tells them he's a friend who comes from money and helped Sam pay his tuition. It's not really a lie. The girls giggle about how handsome Jon is, and Sam pretends like he'd never noticed.

 

Sam starts seeing someone from the walk-in centre in a social context. Her name is Gilly, she's about a year younger than him and pregnant. Sam's been working to help get her set up so she can look after herself and the baby. She was living on the streets for a while.

 

Her father was cruel too.

 

_Sam,_

 

_My sister is having trouble at home and seems to expect me to magically work out some sort of solution to her problems. It's like she's forgotten I was kicked out of that house nearly 5 years ago and haven't seen any of them face to face since._

  _I'm angry and feel guilty for it. I wish you were here to talk to. You're so much better at this sort of thing._

  _Jon_

 

One day there's a knock on Sam's door and a tiny, angry teenage girl storms into his room.

 

“I want to talk to Jon” she demands.

 

“Jon's not here...He's overseas I think. His e-mails are a bit sparse on the details...” Sam replies. “Are you Arya?”

 

“Yes, and I know this is my brother's address. I want to see him.”

 

“Just officially, he has his mail sent here when he's with the army...” Sam replies.

 

“Who are you then!?” She screeches.

 

“I'm Sam Tarly. I'm his friend.”

 

“The military said you're his family!!”

 

“His next of kin, again only officially on the form.”

 

She sees the picture of Jon that Sam has pinned on the wall lets out a howl and rips it down.

 

“He sent you a picture!? He won't even skype with me!! AND HE'S IGNORING ROBB'S CALLS!!!” She's crumbling the photograph in her hands.

 

“Hey!....That's- that's mine!” Sam protests.

 

Arya just huffs and throws it on the floor. “WHY won't he see me?! I NEED HIS HELP!!” She's crying now and Sam is a bit relieved. He's never been good with anger, but tears, tears he knows how to handle.

 

“Now, calm down you.” He says and leads her to sit on his bed. He sits next to her and rubs her back until she's stopped sobbing so hard.

 

“Jon was very hurt by what happened before his father's death. He was upset that he got sent to Black Castle and he was... heartbroken when none of you called or wrote to tell him that your father had died. And now it seems like you just want him to help you. You're not concerned about him being in the army or what he's struggling with. You're not interested in the friends he's made or the things he's done. You're just angry that he's not here for you. And that's not very nice, now is it?” Sam tries to explain.

 

She's looking at him with her mouth open.

 

He pats her knee. “I'll make you some tea. If you want, I'll tell Jon you stopped by and that you want to see him, and I'll call you when he's back from his tour. Alright, love?”

 

She nods. Sam smiles and puts a tea bag in a mug. “Good. Jon's told me all about you. Why don't you tell me what you're trouble is? I know I'm not Jon but I may be able to help.” he says.

 

_Sam,_

 

  _I'm due for a bit of leave soon. Can I come and stay with you for a few days? I don't feel I can face anyone else._

  _Jon_

_  
Ps: Arya thinks I ought to marry you. Why didn't you tell me she'd come to see you?_

 

Sam is midway through end of the year exams when Jon comes to stay. Sam only even realizes he's arrived because of the commotion in the halls. He leaves his notes and peeks out of his door to see Jon walking down the hallway in camo pants and an olive green t-shirt with his military issue duffle slung one-handed over his shoulder.

 

He smiles his brightest smile at Sam. Sam's uncomfortable to realize that his heart still skips a beat, even after a year of only seeing that face in a solemn official picture.

 

Jon drops the duffel and pulls Sam in to a bear-hug. “God, I missed you.” He whispers.

 

Sam ushers Jon into his dorm with the entire floor staring at them. Jon doesn't notice. He's always been oblivious or uncomfortable with the effect he can have on people.

 

“He's a friend from high school.” Sam announces to the half a dozen people who are already starting to gossip about his mysterious handsome friend from the army before slamming the door behind him.

 

Jon's in worse shape than Sam had realized. He's pale (well, paler), and there are dark circles under his eyes. He sitting in Sam's desk chair leaning on his hand. With short hair, and clean shaven face he looks like a different person from the young man that Sam had been mad about last summer.

 

“Are you alright Jon?” Sam asks.

 

Jon shrugs. “I'm tired. I'm doing well though, they're talking about promoting me.”

 

Sam looks at him. “You're not alright, though. Are you?”

 

Jon turns to stare blearily up at Sam. “I'm not alright at the moment. But I will be. Don't worry about me Sam.”

 

Sam smiles. “Well, that's a silly thing to ask. I always worry about you.”

 

Jon looks at Sam like he's a bit confused by this confession. “That's a silly thing to do. You're the one who can't look after yourself.”

 

Sam laughs and runs his hand over Jon's short hair without thinking. “Says the boy who's staying in my dorm room.”

 

Jon doesn't smile this time, he just leans his forehead against Sam's shoulder. “I'm so fucking tired.”

 

Sam nods towards the bed. “Take a nap. I have studying to do anyway.”

 

Jon stays for a few days. He meets Gilly and declares her perfect. He meets the girls on the floor and flees from them in terror. At the end of the week Sam convinces Jon that he should go up and visit his family. Bury the hatchet and deal with whatever shit is going on with his kid sister. He goes, reluctantly.

 

Sam doesn't see him again before he ships out.

 

 

_Hey Sam,_

 

_Thanks for letting me crash. Going home was a good idea. The military seems really comforting after that shit storm. Gilly is a great girl. I'm happy for you._

  _Cheers,_

_Jon_

 

 

_Sam,_

 

_I've been assigned to the division of a fellow named Tormund who they call the Giantsbane, though no one will tell me why. We're all training to be Army Rangers. He keeps trying to give me sex advice. There's a girl in the squad called Ygritte. I think she's made it a personal mission to try and get in my pants. Everyone thinks I'm a virgin._

_Jon._

 

 

 

_Sam,_

 

_I've finished the training and have been moved out of Tormund's squad for awhile and am back with Qhorin. He doesn't think I'm a half-wit anymore but he's not as nice as Tormund, and I miss Ygritte. I miss you, too._

_Jon._

 

 

Sam cosigns Gilly's lease and helps her find a job as a cleaner. She's so happy about it. They start going for coffee practically every other day. The girls on the floor tease him about it. They don't understand why he's taken with her given her baggage.

 

 

_Sam,_

 

_Ygritte has succeeded in her quest to seduce me. I'll spare you the details but let's just say there was a hot tub involved. We're not in the same unit anymore but we're deployed from the same base and see each other all the time. I think we might be getting serious, but I never have any idea what she's thinking. It's not like it was with you._

  _Jon._

 

Sam accidentally gets a reputation when he quickly, efficiently and brutally deals with an asshole that was trying to start trouble. Sam's not sure why this is so surprising to everyone. He weighed twice what Renly did and wasn't about to let that asshole upset Gilly and Wun wun, who he was showing around campus.

 

He tells people that you don't graduate military school without learning how to throw a decent punch. Most people just stare at him in shock anyway.

 

Gilly smiles at him like he's hung the moon just for her and Sam feels his heart flutter in his chest the way it used to when Jon would smile at him like that.

 

She kisses him one day when he's walking her from the centre to the bus. It's really nice and his heart misses a beat.

 

 

_Sam,_

 

_I'm glad this Gilly girl is nice. I hope you're not just spending all your time at the centre though, you should be hanging out with your fellow best and brightest!_

_I'm back with Tormund and his group now. Ygritte seems to think her vagina has healing properties, the amount of sex she's wanting to have. They're all being so nice about what happened with Qhorin's squad. It's my fault though and no amount of lectures telling me it's not is going to change that. Tormund's been real kind about the whole thing, too. He says he'll set me up with a shrink when I get back._

  _Jon_

 

 

Sam's a bit worried about Jon since his last letter. What happened with Qhorin's squad? Last he'd heard things were going well.

 

 Sam moves in with Gilly. Gilly had her baby and, to his horror, named the kid Sam. Somehow Sam finds himself acting as a sort-of-dad in his third year of university. It is actually kind of fun since Gilly made it really clear she didn't expect him to do the heavy lifting.

 

It is really nice having an apartment. It makes things easier socially and helps him keep up with his job and the bills better as well.

 

 

For the first time in what feels like a long time, Sam's absolutely confident everything will work out fine.

 

 

Jon's e-mails come less frequently and he informs Sam that he won't be able to visit for a while- he's signed on for another tour of duty.

 

Sam's grades are good, Little Sam is getting bigger and Gilly is hoping to go back and finish highschool soon.

 

Satin graduates Castle Black and spends exactly 2 weeks on Pyp's couch before disappearing off into London.

 

“I swear that boy's gonna end up Prime Minister or leader of an international ring of assasins. It's really a toss up at this point.” Pyp solemnly informs Sam when he calls to see how things are going.

 

Pyp gets a job at a nicer restaurant. Grenn's apparently got a crush on a girl.

 

Third year ends with Sam living the kind of life he'd always belived was out of his reach. He's got a pretty girlfriend, a step-kid, a group of friends and top marks. It's practically perfect.

 

Naturally, things fall apart in Fourth year.

 

Gilly's finally managed to go back to school and is stressed about that. Sam barely has a spare moment between work and class and course assignments. Not to mention studying for the Medical School exams he's planning to write.

 

They've started to feel like strangers who happen to live together rather than a family.

 

Not to mention that Sam doesn't have time for his volunteering anymore, which cuts him off from a significant chunk of his social circle.

 

All and all he's pretty relieved when he finally graduates. He's got into medical school. He is going to be moving, and he doesn't invite Gilly to come with him and she doesn't ask to either.

 

Pyp and Grenn come down to watch him walk across the stage. They cheer and whoop like madmen.

 

Sam admits he has to choke back a few tears. Who would have thought that Lady Piggy would have managed to make good?

 

The elation lasts about two weeks. That's when he receives the following e-mail:

 

_Sam,_

 

_Ygritte died. My tour is done in a few weeks. Can I stay with you?_

 

_Jon_

 

Sam has just about got himself set up in his new digs when Jon arrives.

 

It's a shock to see him again after more than two years.

 

He's grown into himself and no longer looks so painfully young with his shorn hair. He's got a lean and hungry look to him though, as if he hasn't been eating enough despite how fit he is. 

 

He looks like hell, frankly. A Beautiful tough as nails hell.

 

Jon takes one look at Sam before he folds forward into his arms sobbing.

 

Sam pats him on the back awkwardly for a second before realizing this _Jon._ No matter how long it's been it's _Jon_. So he wraps his arms around his first friend's shoulders and holds him tight.

 

“Shhh...It's alright. Don't you worry.” He says, as he holds him.

 

It's later that the whole story comes out over tea and biscuits in Sam's brand new kitchen-area. Jon was good at being a soldier it turned out, but he's also always been the kind of guy that ended up caring about everyone.

 

Qhorin's squad all died in an ambush. Jon was the sole-survivor since he'd been acting as a scout and had been away from camp during the attack. He thinks he should have seen them coming. It was his job, and despite the fact that three of the other members had also been acting as scouts, Jon can't shake the feeling that he is personally responsible for the deaths of his friends.

 

Ygritte died when their Humvee hit an IED. Jon had held her as she'd bled to death on the side of the road. It's not his fault he knows, but he can't help missing her crooked teeth and bright red hair.

 

Sam's not sure Jon is going to be okay.

 

He sets him up on the sofa bed. It seems wrong, even after so long apart, for Jon to be sleeping anywhere but right next to Sam, but Sam's not sure that Jon feels the same way. He doesn't want Jon to have any more reason to be unhappy than the ones the military has already handed him.

 

It's the middle of the night when the door to Sam's bedroom opens.

 

Sam cracks an eyelid. Jon's standing in the doorway and for the first time since he's been back he looks like the kid who'd broken noses in Black Castle's yard.

 

“Sam?” he asks.

 

“Yeah, Jon?”

 

“Do ye mind if I sleep in here? No funny business I swear.”

 

Sam scoots back to make room on the bed. Jon lies down next to him and Sam wraps his arms around him.

 

“You can try funny business if you want Jon. I won't mind.” he says it before he can think about it.

 

Jon goes tense for a minute. Then shakes his head. “I'm not up for that now Sam.”

 

“Eh, can't blame a fellow for trying. Still want to sleep here?” he asks.

 

There's a pause and for a moment Sam thinks he's ruined everything.

 

Jon snuggles closer. “Yeah, Sam. If it's all the same to you.”

 

“Course. I'd never turn you out.”

 It occurs to him that that is true. Somehow, despite the time and distance and everything that's changed them both so much, Sam Tarly never got around to falling out of love with Jon Snow. Well, fuck.

 

 

Sam wakes up that night to Jon quietly sobbing into his pillow.

 

He can't do anything except hold him tighter and hope to god that for once in his life Jon Snow won't do the noble thing and go back to war and leave him behind again.

 

Of, course it's a foolish thing to hope. Jon Snow can no more leave the life of a soldier behind than Sam can leave his studies.

 

But, this time when he goes, Jon kisses Sam good bye and shyly asks if he'll consider waiting for him.

 

Sam call him an idiot, but says yes all the same.

 

This time Jon keeps in touch with more than just e-mails.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this took so long....I really have been working on it since the first one was published. I just couldn't get it right....
> 
> I really do like the canon romances of the show, which is why I decided to include them here. I may have a third (and final) installment to this series but, well, look how long it took me to get the sequel out. So, no promises my friends.


End file.
